ABOUT HOPE AND MISCONCEPTION

About Hope and Misconception


There was that point in time
a certain time to recall
I used to whisper in my mind:
let's get drunk for eternity!
- oh yes, I kept your reminder
of Baudelaire's passionate advice
"enivrez vous!" ...
But fear is arbitrary,
as much as it is useful
now and then.
Well...
I never carried out the promise.
But here and there,
space in-space out,
I get to empty my personal bottle,
my download of hope.
And I drink it all until I succeed
in mismatching flight and reality.
There's no point in being sober,
oh I know, that is so clear!
- it just shows you that one side
of a world, already gone,
ancestrally worn out...
So we keep capturing ourselves in analysis,
all those x-rays of time lost
in our way to some expected advance!
There is indeed a record
of our non-mark in the world
whenever we attempted to live fully
by our own heads
- and reality (!) caught us in the way...

You tell me of what to come!
About the intermissions and suspensions,
you tell me of all the rainbows
that we miss while busy choosing colors!
Please give me a hint on the right walk
along the road to the promised light!
We once, so many "onces" in life,
got almost there,
to the land of overcoming...
(Pause for laughter!)
There comes repetition
and we wake up in a bar
long after closing time,
hit by everyone else's certified wisdom

I have no means of comparison
to a life that knows its purpose.
But I keep searching, on and on,
and somehow I find myself in trust
of so many enchanted exits!
I wake up again
and... there you are!
It's all gone, nothing but a dream,
a vivid projection of an idea
that simply was never tangible...

Achievement...
The modern world's iron chain
of commitment, THE Tool,
a certain, alleged golden path to fulfilment!
- I wonder what is left to accomplish
besides endlessness and disposable conquests.
Should I stay for the awards ceremony?
Or should I leave while my time knows better?
Should the earth tumble
and collapse, I wonder
what my memory would take as personal luggage
in its voyage to the "don't-know-wheres"...
Not the slightest idea, that is correct.
Yet, I suspect somehow
the volatile beauty of dreams would survive...

I have long forbidden me to live in utopia mode
- that is to say I dead-froze all the wandering,
yes.

But I know that I could be elsewhere
if only the truth in me was at my sole command...

I rest my case, now.
Time to get up
for the final rehearsal
- it's all easier on stage
so I'll just stage the renewal of belief...

Do I get any followers?...
Please, for goodness' sake, do not speak!...
- I don't really need an answer.


Ana Vassalo
November, 2010

Image: Ana Vassalo.